Homeschooling a Neurodivergent Child

supporting your child (and yourself) with compassion

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Hey friends,

I recently received a message from a fellow homeschooling mom that tugged at my heart.

She shared her experience of homeschooling her 11-year-old son, who has ADHD, and her worries about his anxiety around math and writing.

She mentioned feeling the pressure because he might return to public school in a few years and is currently a couple of years "behind."

First, let me say this: You are not alone.

Homeschooling is a journey of constant recalibration, and when you're navigating neurodivergence—whether it's your child, yourself, or both—it can feel even more daunting.

I’m here to offer encouragement and some practical ideas to support both you and your child.

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Reframing “Behind”

I want to pause on the word “behind.” When we compare our children to arbitrary grade levels or curriculum milestones, it’s easy to feel a sense of panic.

But here’s the thing: kids don’t grow and learn on a straight line, especially neurodivergent kids. They blossom in their own time.

Math and writing may feel overwhelming right now, but your child is learning so much more than those specific skills.

By choosing to homeschool, you’re fostering resilience, creativity, and self-awareness. These are skills no test score can measure, but they will serve him for life.

If public school is on the horizon, focus less on “catching up” and more on building his confidence as a learner.

Anxiety often arises when a child (or adult) feels overwhelmed, so shifting to smaller, achievable steps can work wonders.

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Practical Ideas for Math and Writing

Here are a few ideas to help reduce anxiety and build confidence:

Math:

• Make it hands-on. Use manipulatives like Legos, coins, or even snacks to make abstract concepts tangible.

• Short bursts. Instead of a long lesson, try 10-15 minutes of focused math games or problems. Apps like Prodigy Math or games like Math Dice can make it fun. I made this video last year if you’re looking for more math games that my kids approve of.

• Real-life applications. Let him calculate grocery totals, measure for a recipe, or plan a budget for a family outing. These activities feel meaningful and remove the pressure of worksheets.

Writing:

• Dictation and scribing. Let him dictate stories or ideas to you while you write them down. This separates the act of generating ideas from the physical task of writing.

• Interest-led projects. If he loves dinosaurs or Minecraft, have him create a guidebook, story, or even a comic on the topic.

• Low-pressure journaling. Offer a journal where he can doodle, write, or even use stickers to express himself without judgment.

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Your Role as a Neurodivergent Parent

If you also suspect you have ADD/ADHD, it’s essential to give yourself grace.

Neurodivergent parents often face unique challenges in homeschooling, like staying organized, managing energy levels, and balancing the mental load.

Here are a few strategies that might help:

• Simplify your day. Focus on a few key priorities instead of trying to do it all.

• Use tools that work for you. Visual schedules, timers, and checklists can keep both you and your child on track.

• Build in downtime. Rest is not a luxury—it’s essential. Set aside time for both you and your child to recharge, whether that’s through quiet time, movement, or a shared activity.

Book Suggestions and Resources

Here are some resources that have been helpful for families navigating similar challenges:

• The Brave Learner¹ by Julie Bogart: A compassionate guide to fostering curiosity and joy in learning.

• The Explosive Child by Ross Greene: An excellent book for understanding and working with kids who struggle with emotional regulation.

• Smart but Scattered by Peg Dawson and Richard Guare: Practical tips for building executive functioning skills.

Additionally, online communities like the Homeschooling Kids with Dyslexia, Dyscalculia & ADHD Facebook group can be a treasure trove of support and ideas.

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You’re Doing Amazing Work

If there’s one thing I hope you take away from this, it’s that your child doesn’t need a perfect homeschool parent.

He needs you—your love, your encouragement, and your willingness to meet him where he’s at.

Homeschooling a neurodivergent child is a journey of flexibility and creativity.

Some days will be hard, and others will surprise you with their beauty. Trust the process, trust your child, and trust yourself.

Sending you so much love,
Xuan

P.S. If this resonated with you or you’d like to chat more about homeschooling or neurodivergence, feel free to reply or reach out. We’re all in this together.

1. Just a heads-up: occasionally, I use affiliate links in my posts. This means if you click on a link and make a purchase, I may earn a small commission—at no extra cost to you. I only share products or services I genuinely love and think might add value to your life. Thanks for supporting my work in this small but meaningful way!